Eugénia ran to her radio set . She turned it on and looked for a station that would play music of her liking.
– The music these days is pure crap! Just noise… then they say that it is Dance or what they call it… can you ever dance to that? Oh, my God, how I miss dancing a waltz! How I would like to dance a nice waltz with my Moreira. God rest his soul. He danced the waltz so well. Since he passed, I haven’t danced anymore! Oh those balls…
The widow remembered the happiest moments of her youth. Time, as well as the dementia which stroke her, took care of destroying some of her memories, but Eugénia still kept some glimpses of those past joys.
In the moments of greater lucidity in her life as a widow, Eugénia regretted not having had any children. Loneliness would frighten her for some moments but the fact of having a high wall to divide reality from fantasy, past from present, made those rags of nostalgia really short.
She was getting upset because no music was good for her. The old radio, a wedding gift from her cousin Aurora, also deceased already, still worked very well but just didn’t play good music.
Eugénia sat on the armchair in the living room. Her cat, the only companion during the last years rubbed on her legs but she didn’t pay attention. She got up and kicked the cat.
– Get away dam beast.
She walked to the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove heating some water. She opened the china cabinet and took the teapot and two cups, which she saved from her wedding trousseau. She put the hot water on the teapot and prepared to make the lime infusion.
– Moreira… Moreira, it’s tea time. Where the hell is the man? – she took a sip from her tea.
Astonished and looking stupid, the cat looked at her with suspicion,
– Come on, Mimi, jump to my lap. – she took the cat and started petting her. – We are good friends, yes we are…
It was three o’clock p.m. and the news began.
– Good afternoon. The president of the United States, Ronald Reagan suggested the creation of an anti-missile shield. This shield will use laser to intercept Soviet missiles launched against American territory. However, Reagan defends that this project will be merely defensive. In Brasil the campaign for direct elections goes on. The Brasilian people claim for democracy in the streets. Portugal is preparing to receive the second intervention by the IMF in its history. Yesterday, the prime-minister, Mário Soares, in his parliament speech made public that because of an unemployment rate of 11% and an uncontrollable external debt, due to international interest rates, it is necessary to have a new IMF intervention to help Portugal get out of the economic crisis.
– What the hell? I don’t give a dam to that. Can’t they say anything about the health of Salazar? This is a lost world… – she cursed.
She threw the cat to the ground.
– Get out dam beast…
She went to the mirror hanging on the wall, opened the box of powder and started powdering her wrinkled face with soft and gentle movements.
– Dam music! I wish I could listen to a tango… – she stood in the middle of the room motionless.
Oh, tango… José danced tango so well! He was so stiff. My blood boiled when I danced a tango in his arms! And how I rejoiced and bled in our first time… it was so good…
Eugénia lifted her skirt and started touching her vulva. She was groaning softly as she made circular movements with her middle finger from the right hand. The left hand held the skirt up.
– Oh, José, how I liked being under your weight… José, my José, my love… stick it in, stick it.
Breathing heavily, she let herself fall onto the armchair and stood there for some minutes. She recovered and looked at the door. She mumbled to her cat:
– Do you think Moreira has heard that? God forbid… the trouble I had to bleed the first time with him. If he knew… Come here, Lili, don’t tell Moreira! We are good friends, good friends…
The radio speaker announced a first playing on Portuguese radio of some piece of music. It was a great hit in the States, sung by a young girl named Samantha Fox and ‘Touch Me’ started playing.
With a sudden movement, Eugénia threw the cat to the ground and started jumping.
Photo: Sérgio Moreira
Text: Adão Baptista